I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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