I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
