I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I am available for nakedness
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
