You're completely useless in the revolution.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
