i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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