The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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