This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
