Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
