what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
