whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
