Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
