I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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