He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
