he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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