I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
