The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
