i just wanna soil my oats bro
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
