He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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