My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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