watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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