Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
