Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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