And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
