I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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