a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
