I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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