trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
