butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
