...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
