called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I believe in your delicious
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
