I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
