What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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