Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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