I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
