EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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