New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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