We should be called the Road Head Warriors
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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