So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
