was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
