He is an equal opportunity slut.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
