glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He kissed a someone with a penis
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
