please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
