So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i already hear my dad disowning me
i just had sex bonerless
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
