We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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