He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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