If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
