I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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