Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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