i just wanna soil my oats bro
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
