Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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