i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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