She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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