Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
