I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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