she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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