Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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