I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
